Written by: Heidi Green

Giving feedback is not always easy. Constructive feedback has the potential to inspire motivation, creativity, confidence, collaboration, and trust. On the other hand, destructive feedback can be demotivating and damage trust and confidence. To ensure your feedback is effective and impactful, follow these seven practices:

1. Give feedback as quickly as possible
2. Start with the positive
3. Ask for their opinion
4. Describe behaviors and outcomes
5. Give clear examples
6. Suggest improvements 
7. Ensure understanding and commitment

Provide feedback as quickly as possible

Provide feedback as quickly as possible, regardless of whether it’s positive or constructive. Research shows that immediate feedback is more impactful. It helps the individual make a stronger association between their behavior and its results.

✅ “Do you have a few minutes now to discuss the meeting?”🚫 “Let’s debrief on the meeting next week.”

Start with the positive

Start with positive feedback to reinforce behavior and inspire change. Regularly acknowledging achievements helps build trust, making any necessary constructive feedback more likely to be accepted rather than resisted. John Gottaman’s research shows that for every negative interaction, five positive interactions are needed to maintain harmony. This balance is essential for effective communication. When giving feedback, ensure it’s genuine—people are more receptive when they feel you care. As the saying goes, ‘No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.’

✅ “The information in your presentation was valuable and beneficial for the team. It would have been even better if you had spoken slower to make things clearer, and allowed time for discussion.”  

🚫 “You seemed nervous and spoke too fast.Most people didn’t understand what you were saying and you didn’t leave enough time at the end.”

To keep the discussion positive, it is also more effective to speak objectively. Share your perspective by starting with “I” statements rather than accusatory statements.

✅ “I noticed that when dealing with clients you often…”🚫  “You always…”, “You never seem to…”

Ask for their opinion

Rather than jumping into feedback, start by asking questions. This helps managers gauge how self-aware their employees are. Often, people are aware of their weaknesses. If they can recognize what they need to improve, and verbalize it first, it becomes a much easier conversation. If they don’t recognize what needs to change or disagree, asking their opinion still allows them to feel heard and valued. This approach makes it easier for someone to accept and implement the feedback from a peer or manager. It’s more effective to ask their opinion before giving feedback. Asking for their opinion after giving feedback could lead to defensiveness or an argument.

✅ “Let’s discuss your presentation. First, what are your thoughts on how it went?”

✅ “I want to give feedback on your report. Before I share, if this was someone else’s report, what feedback would you give them?”

🚫 “Your presentation didn’t go well.” 

🚫 “The report is not clear.”

Describe behaviors and outcomes

Focus on specific behaviors and provide a clear rationale for why change is necessary. It helps the person understand and trust your viewpoint. This approach is also important when giving positive feedback. Rather than a general compliment, explaining the impact of good behavior reinforces it effectively.

✅ “I’ve noticed you tend to interrupt others during discussions, which can disrupt the flow of ideas. By allowing others to finish their thoughts you create an open environment where everyone feels heard.”

✅ “I noticed your effort in dividing the information into step-by-step points. You’re skilled at making technical information clear and organized. This clarity will help teams grasp new information quickly.”

🚫  “You interrupt others too often.”🚫 “You did a great job on your files!”

Give clear examples

To ensure that the person understands, use specific details and examples to explain what they could have done better. Simply criticizing an individual can make them defensive, and closed off to receiving suggestions.

✅ “I noticed when you gave feedback to Sara, she didn’t respond well. She may have found it harsh because you jumped into saying her report was poorly written, rather than explaining that she was using passive voice in her writing as opposed to active voice.”🚫 “I think you were too harsh on Sara when you spoke with her.”

Give suggestions for improvement

Feedback should always be combined with specific examples of how to do better, and explanations for why changing the behavior will be beneficial. Additionally you can ask what the person thinks they could do to improve.

✅ “What do you think you could do better next time? 

✅ “My suggestion is to summarize key points. Highlight that sales increased by 10% and outline what contributed to the growth. This makes it easier to read and helps the team connect how their efforts led to success.”🚫  “You need to rewrite it and make it easier to read.”

Ensure understanding and commitment 

After explaining specific behavior, reasons for  change, suggestions for improvement, and the desired impact of the suggested change, ensure the person understands and commits to the change. Begin by asking the person’s opinion and suggestions. This empowers and motivates them to think critically. Regular feedback discussions build trust among managers, employees, and colleagues to help them communicate and collaborate efficiently. This approach fosters a culture where people conduct self-evaluations with a mindset to innovate. When appropriate, end the conversation by asking the person to state what they will do to change, then offer support. 

✅ “What do you think about these suggestions? Do you have any other ideas besides the ones we’ve discussed? Can you commit to implementing this right away?”🚫 “I hope you give some thought to this suggestion and try it from now on.”

An example of effective feedback that incorporates the seven steps

• “Do you have a few minutes to discuss the project now?” How do you think it is going so far?” 
• “I appreciate your creativity and dedication to deadlines. However, I’d like to encourage you to consider the overall impact of the work’s quality. For example, I noticed there were several errors last time. which may have been due to the team rushing. It’s essential to think about how clients perceive the quality of our work, as this could impact the company’s reputation in the future.
• “I suggest establishing a review process to refine the work. You could create a calendar with reminders to ensure everything stays on track without slowing down the process.”
• “Do you have any other suggestions on how we can improve this process? When do you think you’ll be able to finalize these changes?”
• “Let’s work together on this to ensure our work aligns with our goals.”

How These Steps Build a Trusting and Successful Environment

• Genuine Care: Providing regular, thoughtful feedback demonstrates that you truly care about each person’s success. This builds trust, boosts morale, and strengthens relationships within the team.
• Encourage Feedback at All Levels: Cultivate a culture where feedback flows freely between managers, employees, and colleagues. This promotes transparency, accountability, and open communication, fostering a sense of safety and trust.

Promote Innovation and Collaboration: A feedback-rich environment drives continuous improvement, encourages collaboration, and sparks innovation, helping everyone work together to achieve success.

References

Siddiqui, N. (2023, April 9). The power of timing: How the timing of feedback impacts its effectiveness. Shaeba Corp. https://medium.com/
Benson, K. (2017, October 4). The magic relationship ratio, according to science. KyleBenson.net. https://kylebenson.net/magic-relationship-ratio/ (Last updated June 26, 2024)